Helpful advice for couples in search
of intimacy after prostate cancer
A prostate cancer diagnosis
can lead to profound
changes in a man’s relationship
with his partner. As
the most common non-skin,
male-specifi c cancer in the
U.S., prostate cancer affects
one in nine men. Approximately
165,000 men will be diagnosed
with prostate cancer
this year and 29,000 men will
die from the disease. While
early detection and treatment
can save lives, treatment side
effects can have a negative impact
on quality of life.
The prostate gland is part
of the male reproductive system.
Therefore, treatment side
effects can include erectile
dysfunction and incontinence,
which can be temporary or ongoing.
These side effects can take
a toll on sexual health and intimacy:
in fact, sexual dysfunction
is often identifi ed as
the most common long-term
side effect after prostate cancer
treatments like surgery or
radiation.
“We don’t always recognize
and talk about the ways that
prostate cancer is also a couple’s
disease,” says Dr. Anne
Katz, a renowned author and
clinical nurse specialist who
has devoted her career to helping
men and their partners
work through intimacy issues.
“When prostate cancer
treatment affects a man’s ability
to perform sexually, that
eliminates what is a very important
expression of love for
his partner. That can have an
emotional impact on the man
and his partner. We often see
that leading to a downward
spiral of distance and withdrawal.”
Find common ground
Address these challenges
by talking openly about one’s
sexual needs while being respectful
of the other partner.
Acknowledge that this conversation
may be uncomfortable.
It may feel a bit like threading
a needle ... while wearing oven
mitts. Neither wants to appear
selfi sh.
Neither wants to upset
the other during an already
stressful time. And, for many
couples, discussing these
BPT
deeply personal issues in
open conversation feels awkward.
COURIER L 16 IFE, SEPT. 11-17, 2020
The natural thing to do is
to avoid talking about it rather
than risk the embarrassment
of a possible rejection.
Recognize that communication
is the best way for any
couple to address their issues
about intimacy. Enter the conversation
with the mindset
that you and your partner can
support each other and fi nd
common ground.
Hold the conversation in a
neutral area — away from the
bedroom — without distractions
or interruptions. Above
all, listen and empathize.
Know that options are
out there
Most couples do not realize
that there may be possible
solutions to restoring sexual
function after prostate cancer
treatment. From pills, to external
devises, injections and
surgical procedures, there are
solutions for nearly everyone.
With persistence, a little
humor, open discussion, and
medical support, couples may
reclaim sexual function once
again.
Seek counsel from a
professional
For some couples, working
through the barriers to their
sexual intimacy can be stressful
and overwhelming. Don’t
be afraid to seek professional
help. You may feel uncomfortable
with the idea of talking
about these private matters
with outsiders. But know that
there are expert counselors
highly skilled in engaging
you and your partner in a discussion
about these sensitive
issues, in addition to physicians
who specialize in restoring
sexual function.
You’re not alone
There’s no need to suffer
in silence. Many couples must
navigate intimacy issues in
the face of prostate cancer,
and there are a number of
resources available to help
make that easier. To access resources
offered by Us TOO International
Prostate Cancer
Education and Support Network,
visit ustoo.org.
There are pages on Sexual
Health and Intimacy (at
www.ustoo.org/intimacy)
and Incontinence (at www.
ustoo.org/incontinence) and
a Prostate Cancer Pathways
page (at www.ustoo.org/prostate_
cancer_pathways) that
contain information about educational
events on this topic
and others that are helpful for
couples dealing with prostate
cancer. — Courtesy BPT
Men’s Health
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