FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM JULY 15, 2021 • THE QUEENS COURIER 39
Victoria’s
SECRETS
Victoria
SCHNEPSYUNIS
vschneps@schnepsmedia.com
Goodbye Pebe,
my dearest cousin
It’s hard saying goodbye to my
baby cousin Pebe, who was
more like a sister to me and
was six months younger.
We grew up in the same building
— she on the second fl oor,
me on the fi rst — and we were
totally connected.
Pebe, whose real name was
Pearl Betsy Silverman, had
the same fi rst name as me. Our
mothers were both pregnant at
the same time and loved their
mom and decided to name their
newborns aft er her. So I was
born Pearl Victoria and she was
Pearl Betsy.
Because we lived so close and
confusion reigned, she became
Pebe and I became Vicki.
Living so close, I can remember
the aroma from watching the
daily ritual of her mom washing
her hair in chamomile leaves
to keep her long golden hair like
fl ax. It worked! She remained a
beautiful blonde throughout her
childhood, getting only a few
shades darker as she got older.
A childhood treat was to make
a hidden visit to her apartment
for liverwurst sandwiches. My
family was kosher, so we never
ate liverwurst, but my Pebe’s
house was not kosher. Th ere was
something wickedly delicious
about them. What a delight!
Our parents bought houses
on Lake Oscawana and we
spent every summer together
there from age 3 until I went to
sleep away camp. Our summer
days were fi lled with swimming,
boating, fi shing, reading, knitting
and digging for worms near
the lake. Being together forged a
bond that would last forever.
My favorite story growing
up foretold our diff erent styles.
When angora hats were all the
rage, we went shopping for one
together. I wanted the glamorous
beret, but Pebe chose one
with ear fl aps. I can remember,
like it was yesterday, her saying,
“I want to be warm,” and me
responding, “I want to look like
a movie star!” Our styles never
changed — she the realist and
me the dreamer!
As we became adults, we both
chose to become teachers. I got
a great job at a school in the
Midwood section of Brooklyn.
But in my third year, I switched
schools to where Pebe taught
in Bedford-Stuyvesant because,
like her, I wanted to “change the
world” and help children who
I thought needed me more. We
drove daily to school together.
It was a tranquil life until I got
to P.S. 138, which was known
as an MES (“More Eff ective
School”) because of all the extra
support they off ered the K-6 students.
But my class of 23 third
graders was fi lled with kids who
had emotional and learning
problems that were way beyond
my professional skills, as I did
not have the experience to know
how to meet their needs.
When one teacher suggested
that I should bang a student’s
head against the blackboard to
control the class and make the
kids listen, my heart and spirit
were broken. It was my worst
year of “teaching.”
Pebe somehow found a way
to cope and tried to guide me
through that diffi cult time, but I
quit in June and found a teaching
job on Long Island soon aft er.
Both of us were newlyweds at
the time. She was my bride of
honor wearing my chosen color
— a bubble gum pink dress —
and then I was her matron of
honor.
Even as married ladies, we
lived only blocks from each
other. But life was about to dramatically
change.
It started when she told me she
was pregnant — as was I — and
was going to be moving.
One of the saddest days for
me was when she bought a new
house in Marlboro, N.J. — a foreign
land to me. But her husband
Jan, a pharmacist, worked in Bay
Ridge and a New Jersey home
worked best for them.
I had my fi rst child and moved
to Bayside and within a week of
each other, we both had baby
girls.
Sadly, my daughter Lara
turned blue in the nursery and
at 3 months old, suff ered from
seizures. When we visited each
other, I saw Pebe’s daughter
Dana developing much faster
than Lara. I soon found out that,
developmentally, Lara would
remain a 3-month-old.
My dear Pebe, whose real name
was Pearl Betsy Silverman.
Fast forward to years later,
Pebe and Jan had three grown
children living in California, so
they decided to move there permanently.
Th e barrier of distance
and our very diff erent lives
physically separated us, but the
love never ended.
Aft er Pebe’s death following
a devastating few years of battling
lung disease, I know our
love will live on. I will miss our
confi dential weekly calls complaining
about the issues of the
day like raising our children and
talking about whatever was on
our minds. But a bond is a bond,
and I will love you eternally,
Pebe.
She was a precious friend, so
I was particularly interested in
an article my friend, Dr. Peter
Michalos, sent me from businessinsider.
com. Th e article
reinforced for me the importance
of friendship.
Th e study of 300,000 people
found that living longer and
happier lives isn’t just a result of
diet, exercise, or even genetics
— it found that friends can aff ect
your health more than family.
For me, I was blessed that many
family members like Pebe were
my dearest friends, too!
I laughed when the report
said that real friends are not
Facebook friends or Twitter followers.
Researcher Robin Dunbar
reported that the key to good
friends is to have three or four
really really close friends.
To keep them, he said
you should “think
about what you can
do that will help
the people closest
to you be happier,
then do it!”
While Pebe lived in California,
we didn’t see each other in years,
but our bond was so tight and
survived. In the last months of
her life, we did FaceTime chats
every week, which brought joy
to both of us.
So, I pass on the words of
the researchers: “If you want to
have closer friends, make ‘care’
a verb. Support. Encourage.
Help.”
GOODBYE, SENIOR
We lost a powerhouse of a man
when John “Senior” Koufakis
passed away at the age of 94. He
was the true Horatio Alger success
story, selling used cars on a Carvel
lot he had bought and built an auto
empire with the “Star” brand, consisting
of multiple car dealerships
and service centers.
He brought his three sons into
the business, which has now
extended to his grandchildren.
His love of his Greek church
made it possible for them to
have artists create a golden
mural on the dome’s ceiling.
I loved talking business and
getting his sage advice during
our lunches and dinners.
His legacy will live on through
his loving family
and the
extraordinary
business
he created.
Meeting Senator Joe Lieberman and his wife Hadassah at the Hampton Synagogue’s
shabbos brunch with synagogue president Carol Levin. Hadassah had been there to do
a presentation of her book, “Hadassah: An American Story.”
It was my delight to meet the senator, since I had the honor of going to the Democratic convention
where he was nominated to be vice president. All my Jewish friends at the convention cried
with joy at the possibility of his hopeful election. He came so close. He remains a very engaging
person to this day. John “Senior” Koufakis
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