FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM MARCH 25, 2021 • THE QUEENS COURIER 29
Tips on how kids can transition back to being social
BY DONNA DUARTE-LADD
editorial@qns.com
@QNS
Between remote classes and long days
of Zoom, kids are having trouble coping
with the pandemic, and children have
thrown tantrums out of the blue; my
11-year-old, who hasn’t had meltdowns
since toddlerhood, now displays emotional
highs and lows. When the kids are
fi nally around other kids, while joyous, it
can also go from zero to 60 over the simplest
things.
And the parents. I have seen outbursts
and have been on the receiving end of a
fellow parent’s outburst, with both sides
wondering aft erward, “WTF just happened?!”
It is as if we have all been stuck
in our houses for a year. Ahhh, yes, that
is it — we have been in the same place
for over a year. And now, as we slowly
make our way back outside in the world,
how can parents get their kids (and ourselves)
back to socializing courteously and
respectfully?
I touched base withDr. Christina Johns,
senior medical adviser for PM Pediatrics,
for tips on how kids can transition back
to being social.
Has quarantine aff ected kids’
development?
Johns: While I think pediatricians
and parents alike are very concerned
that social development has been
delayed because of isolation, the reality
is that kids are pretty resilient, so we’re
hopeful they will bounce back once we
emerge from the pandemic. Th at said,
we currently don’t have enough longterm
data to determine what developmental
eff ects the pandemic will have
on children, and we will be following
that very closely in the years to come.
Pediatricians are concerned because
there is some data that suggests learning
has slowed down, but the evidencebased
answer is that we don’t know for
sure yet.
Kids have either been glued to a
tablet or have had limited time
with friends; as New York slowly
re-opens, how can they transition
into being social again?
Johns: My recommendation to parents
is to ease in slowly. I wouldn’t recommend
that kids who haven’t had social time go
to a sleepover right away, for example.
Instead, it’s a gradual transition. I suggest
shorter playdates and one-on-one time to
start, all the while reminding children to
respect their peers’ physical space. Before
getting back to socializing, bring up the
discussion of sharing depending on the
child’s age. I also suggest reminding them
of other general social norms, like manners
and respect. It’s ultimately about
easing in and gradually expanding from
there. Always remember to be smart with
outdoor playdates, structured playdates
with activities to provide a format to help
kids socialize easier.
How can a kid deal with
misunderstanding and hurt
feelings once they start having
more face-to-face time? I see this
more than ever with my oldest
when he is on Zoom with friends,
and one hangs up or loses their
temper easily.
Johns: Role-modeling, the behavior you
want to see in your child, is key. I also suggest
scripting. In other words, talk to your
child about how to navigate these kinds
of situations before they actually happen,
and you can arm them with strategies. I
also recommend you “name the feelings.”
Teach your child to say “you seem upset
right now” to a peer, for example. Once it’s
named and kids have a shared understanding
of the situation, they can go ahead and
try to resolve it. It doesn’t make sense, for
example, to have a child apologize if they
don’t know what they’re apologizing for
because that may not be appropriate in the
setting and doesn’t teach the strategies for
confl ict resolution for the future.
What can a parent do if their child
seems anxious or depressed as
they get back to just being a kid
but with all that it comes with
(peer pressure, competitiveness,
etc.)?
Johns: I would encourage parents to
make sure they know what the truly concerning
signs of depression and anxiety
are in order to determine when it’s
time to speak to a pediatric physician for
help. Th ose signs can manifest in a child
getting so anxious that they can’t get
through their activities of daily life, their
sleep schedule seems to be thrown off ,
they are completely disengaged, grades
are dropping, etc. Th ose are real signs
depression and anxiety have taken over,
and that is the time to actively seek care.
It’s a great idea to start with a pediatric
healthcare professional as they can
oft en help to screen the child and give
you the best guidance on the next steps.
If you don’t feel like your child is exhibiting
any of these truly concerning behaviors,
but they seem anxious, starting to
slowly ease back into normal life may
be the best way to move forward. People
so badly want to resume pre-pandemic
activities right away; however, any
kind of expectation that getting back to
that in the immediate will lead to disappointment.
As a parent, setting up some
small successes for a child can help them
regain confi dence, so they are less anxious
about various situations going forward.
As for parents, how do we set
good examples for our kids?
Johns: We practice what we preach.
Photo via Getty Images
One thing that I encourage parents to
keep in mind is the idea of balance. Try
your best as a parent to set boundaries
for yourself and do something that’s actually
engaging and social during the day.
If you’ve been working all day, sitting in
front of a screen, give yourself a break and
go outside to chat with a neighbor. And
bring your child with you. If you start
engaging in safe, social activities together,
your child is more likely to pick that up
and do it independently.
Dr. Christina Johns is the senior medical
adviser and vice president of communications
for PM Pediatrics, where she provides
evidence-based pediatric expertise for
patients and families everywhere. A pediatric
emergency physician and medical leader,
Dr. Johns is board certifi ed in both pediatrics
and pediatric emergency medicine.
Dr. Johns has contributed to “Good
Morning America,” been featured as a medical
expert on CNN and Discovery Health
shows, hosted Clear Channel Radio’s medical
talk show, Doctors Call, and served as
a spokesperson for SafeKids Worldwide on
behalf of child advocacy on Capitol Hill.
Dr. Johns is a mom of two, a son and a
daughter, and resides with her family and
their two dogs in Annapolis, MD. Visit Dr.
Christina’s blog,Dear Dr. Christina, and
on Instagram@deardrchristina, Twitter@
DrCJohnsand Facebook@Dr. Christina
Johns.
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