FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM MARCH 1, 2018 • THE QUEENS COURIER 59
coping with death
Helping children deal with grief
We sympathize when we see someone
experiencing grief caused by the death of
a loved one, but there is something especially
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poignant about a child who grieves
over the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling,
or even a beloved pet.
When children experience the death
of a loved one they grieve just as adults
do, but they may not be able to verbalize
their sorrow.
To compound this, many adults may
not feel comfortable dealing with children’s
sadness, especially when grieving
themselves.
Th ey don’t know how to start the conversation,
they don’t know what to say, and,
especially, they are fearful of saying the
wrong things.
So what can you do? Th ere are many
wonderful books that can help. For example,
in “Helping Children Grieve,” Th eresa
Huntley includes some basic suggestions
excerpted here that will help adults who
want to console a grieving child:
• Be aware of personal feelings. When we
are in touch with our own feelings (sadness,
loss, regret), we will be better able to
help bereaved children deal with theirs.
• Recognize that each child’s level of
understanding is diff erent. Provide the
children with information and responses
appropriate for their age level.
• Recognize that each child will grieve differently.
• Encourage questions.
• Encourage the expression of feelings. Let
children know that it is okay to show
their emotions.
• Encourage participation in events following
the death. Tell the children about
the events that will be taking place (i.e.,
wake, funeral, burial). Give the children
permission to choose the extent of their
participation.
• Help a child to commemorate the life of
the deceased.
• Try to maintain a sense of normalcy. To
restore some semblance of security, try
to follow the children’s normal routine
as closely as possible.
Also, the popular television show
“Sesame Street” has many wonderful
resources to help connect with a child who
is mourning.
Children generally grieve in diff erent
ways than adults. As family and caregivers,
we can recognize this and guide them
with love through a diffi cult time. Ask your
family funeral director for names of local
bereavement counselors who can help.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral Directors
Association