FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM JANUARY 21, 2021 • THE QUEENS COURIER 31
coping with death
Is closure ever possible?
We hear people talking about “closure”
of the deceased to us, our past experiences
brought up with minute rice, instant
where people have a great deal of acceptance,
as if there is a door that can be shut aft er
with loss, and sometimes even our
coff ee and microwave ovens would search
experiencing a tragedy in our lives, losing
health and emotional state.
for quick relief from something we call
a loved one or being witness to a horrific
Grieving for a lost loved one can take
grief,” he says.
event such as the terrorist attack on the
years, sometimes a lifetime.
“We hear it from those who go to the
World Trade Center.
According to Curtis Rostad, a Certifi ed
scene of a disaster where their family
Friends might ask, “Haven’t you reached
Funeral Service Practitioner who has
member has died. We hear it from those
closure yet?”
been a licensed funeral director since
who witness the execution of the person
Grief cannot be forced or pushed or
1973, there is no such thing as closure.
convicted of killing their loved one.
closed off from our minds.
He maintains that those who refuse to
We hear it expressed by those who have
Th ere is no magic formula for working
begin the journey through grief simply
someone missing in war.”
through grief.
delay their own recovery.
In Rostad’s long experience in helping
Th e fact of the matter is that grief must
Rostad goes on to explain why he thinks
families deal with grief, he has found that
be expressed and dealt with.
the concept of closure is mentioned so
seeking closure only produces feelings of
We all experience and react to loss in
oft en in today’s culture. “It should come
frustration that join the emotions of sorrow.
diff erent ways depending on the relationship
as little surprise that a generation of people
Th ere is no closure, but there is a point
even peace of mind, and are able
to move on to a diff erent frame of mind.
It’s a frame of mind that leaves them
supported by the memories, but empowered
to continue with their lives knowing
they did all they could do with respect to
the person they lost.
Why would anyone seek closure? Why
would anyone want to close the door on
thoughts about a departed loved one?
Grief will soft en in the years aft er a loss,
but the door to memories should always
be open.
Courtesy NYS Funeral Directors
Association
Coping Wi th D eat h spons o re d by :
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