WWW.QNS.COM RIDGEWOOD TIMES JUNE 10, 2021 35
COPING WITH DEATH
Is closure ever possible?
We hear people talking about
“closure” as if there is a door
that can be shut aft er experiencing
a tragedy in our lives, losing a
loved one or being witness to a horrifi c
event such as the terrorist attack on the
World Trade Center.
Friends might ask, “Haven’t you
reached closure yet?”
Grief cannot be forced or pushed or
closed off from our minds.
There is no magic formula for working
through grief.
The fact of the matter is that grief must
be expressed and dealt with.
We all experience and react to loss in
diff erent ways depending on the relationship
of the deceased to us, our past
experiences with loss, and sometimes
even our health and emotional state.
Grieving for a lost loved one can take
years, sometimes a lifetime.
According to Curtis Rostad, a Certifi ed
Funeral Service Practitioner who has
been a licensed funeral director since
1973, there is no such thing as closure.
He maintains that those who refuse to
begin the journey through grief simply
delay their own recovery.
Rostad goes on to explain why he
thinks the concept of closure is mentioned
so oft en in today’s culture. “It
should come as little surprise that a
generation of people brought up with
minute rice, instant coff ee and microwave
ovens would search for quick relief
from something we call grief,” he says.
“We hear it from those who go to the
scene of a disaster where their family
member has died. We hear it from those
who witness the execution of the person
convicted of killing their loved one. We
hear it expressed by those who have
someone missing in war.”
In Rostad’s long experience in helping
families deal with grief, he has found
that seeking closure only produces feelings
of frustration that join the emotions
of sorrow.
There is no closure, but there is a
point where people have a great deal
of acceptance, even peace of mind, and
are able to move on to a diff erent frame
of mind.
It’s a frame of mind that leaves them
supported by the memories, but empowered
to continue with their lives
knowing they did all they could do with
respect to the person they lost.
Why would anyone seek closure? Why
would anyone want to close the door on
thoughts about a departed loved one?
Grief will soft en in the years aft er a
loss, but the door to memories should
always be open.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral Directors
Association
129
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494 Seneca Avenue,
Ridgewood, NY 11385
FRIEDA MANNINO of Trumansburg
passed away at Hospicare of Ithaca
on Thursday, June 3, 2021 at the age of 92.
Born in the Village of Thurn, Bavaria, Germany on March 31, 1929, Frieda was the
daughter of the late Andreas and Anna Margaret (Weitzenfelder) Brandmeier. She came
to the United States in 1955 as a nanny and met her husband Joseph Mannino at an
English as a Second Language class at Erasmus High School in Brooklyn. Following their
marriage, she remained a nanny until the birth of their son, Joseph. She remained a
homemaker caring for her son and husband, who spent 19 years on home dialysis.
Frieda was a faithful parishioner of St. Matthias Church in Ridgewood, serving as a
Eucharistic minister, Scared Heart League, and food pantry volunteer. Several years after
the death of her husband in 1987, she moved to Hamilton, NY to be closer to family,
eventually relocating with family to Trumansburg, NY where she was a member of the St.
James Catholic Church. Frieda lived for several years at Juniper Manor in Trumansburg
where she remained active playing bingo, attending weekly pot luck dinners, and
decorating the Manor for Christmas.
Frieda is survived by a son Joseph (Cynthia) Mannino; two granddaughters, Marilyn
and Isabella Mannino; sisters, Franziska Kraus and Monika Thomas both in Germany;
many nieces and nephews in Germany and the United States; and many close friends
both in Germany and the United States.
In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her husband, Joseph
Mannino; sisters, Sophie Buttner, Rita Hallman, and Erica Schmid; and brother, Hans
Brandmeier.
Mass will be celebrated at 11:00am on Friday, June 18, 2021 at St. James
Catholic Church, 17 Whig Street, Trumansburg. Frieda had a strong faith, and
asked that in her obituary we state: Her work was done, and she went home
to Jesus Christ.
The family asks those who wish to make a contribution in Frieda’s memory to kindly
consider the Salesian Missions or another charity in her name.
For additional information, please contact Ness-Sibley Funeral Home
at 607-387-8151, or visit www.ness-sibley.com
Village Chapels, Inc.
67-67 Eliot Avenue
Middle Village, NY 11379
718-458-3000
Funeral Directors
John DiMario,
George H. Luhrin
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