
Coping with Death
The loss of a beloved pet
can be a traumatic experience
for a child, a lonely
senior citizen or anyone who
has cherished an animal companion.
In many homes, a pet provides
affection, friendship
and loyalty. Thus, in time, the
companion animal truly becomes
an important member
of the family.
Grief, which results from
the death or loss of a pet, involves
a diffi cult set of emotions
and problems which may
take time to work through.
It wasn’t too long ago that
people did not believe that it
was okay to grieve for an animal.
Now psychologists and
grief counselors recognize
that sorrow for a pet is a very
real emotion akin to grieving
for a lost friend or relative.
A family veterinarian, who
has helped to care for a pet, understands
the emotional bond
with a pet.
Mourning the loss of a pet
is normal and should not be a
cause for embarrassment. Pet
owners experience the same
stages of loss that everyone
undergoes after the loss of
a beloved family member or
friend, including denial, bargaining,
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anger, grief, and resolution.
In some cases, the anxiety
and sorrow over the loss of a
beloved pet may be greater
than that experienced at the
death of a friend or relative
and the pet owner need not
feel guilty about it.
Guilt can arise when one
has to determine if it is time to
end the life of an animal that
is in pain or distress, and has
no hope of recovery even with
the best of veterinary care.
The veterinarian and the
pet’s family, including children,
should understand and
decide together to do what is
most merciful for the pet and
the family.
When a pet dies, burial or
cremation are choices for disposal
of the pet’s body.
The place of burial can
vary from a backyard to a pet
cemetery, depending on the
size of the pet and the laws
or ordinances of the family’s
community.
When a pet’s body is cremated,
the family may ask the
veterinarian to dispose of the
ashes, or they may take them
to scatter in a favorite place,
or keep in an urn at the pet
owner’s home or pet cemetery.
Your local veterinarian
may be able to help arrange a
funeral service complete with
casket, fl owers and memorialization.
Such a service can be an
enormous comfort to the persons
who loved the pet by helping
them demonstrate their affection
for the pet and accept
the fi nality of their loss -- a
necessary step in the recovery
from grief.
There are many ways to memorialize
a beloved pet -- placing
fl owers on its grave, installing
a permanent marker
or planting a tree.
A good thing to do is to
make a contribution of time or
money to a local animal shelter,
It wasn’t too long ago that people did not believe that it was okay to
grieve for an animal. Getty Images
or to one of the many organizations
that are trying to
save the world’s animals.
A local veterinarian or funeral
director can provide advice
in helping say goodbye
when a beloved pet dies.
This article was prepared
with research material from
the New York State Veterinary
Medical Society and Guideline
Publications “Death of a Pet.”
— Courtesy NYS Funeral
Directors Association
How to grieve a pet