SEPTEMBER 2019 • LONGISLANDPRESS.COM 55
PARENTING TIPS
TEACHING RESILIENCE LEAD BY EXAMPLE
By MICHELLE DELL’AQUILA
Resilience is a key concept that children
need to learn. The good thing
about resilience is that it is not innate.
The ability to cope with problems and
change in a healthy manner can be
taught.
Many parents want to protect their
child, which can lead to a lack of
problem-solving skills. Teaching resilience
will prepare your child for
their future.
One of the best things parents can do
is teach children how to solve problems.
Instead of avoiding uncomfortable
situations, offer guidance to get
your child thinking.
Many children often go through a
phase where they do not want to
leave to spend the night at camp or a
friend’s house. Ask your child how
they think they can overcome this,
and then help them practice ways to
work past the negative feelings. Role
playing can often help a child learn to
work through problems by acting
out different conclusions they
can then utilize.
It also helps to not offer an
answer to everything or
accommodate every single
want or need. A child cannot
live their entire lives
in complete comfort — no
human can.
Obstacles arise, and your child
will be better prepared to handle issues
by having them think and act for
themselves. A child who understands
a problem and works through it gains
confidence.
Acknowledge that mistakes are
OK. Children need to realize that
mistakes help make us better. We
can learn valuable lessons from
mistakes, and they are part
of our journey.
Failure is a component
of success.
Everyone
fails and your child need not dwell on
failing. Sometimes children need to
see the consequences of how they act
before they understand that failure
is temporary.
Resilience can help children become
better adults. They learn how to cope
with difficulties, how to bounce back.
Resilience lessens anxiety and one
of the best ways they learn resiliency
is by watching their parents and
teachers and how they cope with life
happenings or people. Lead by example,
because you never know who is
watching.
Michelle Dell’Aquila is a licensed
therapist and the director of Child
Develoa parenting service offering
training and courses on various
topics. She can be reached at parentingcoachonline.
com
Kids taught to be resilient are
more successful in life.
(Getty Images)
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