Coping with Death
A prescription for grief relief
COURIER LIFE, NOVEMBER 5-11, 2021 17
“Oh to be a stone! To
feel no grief!”
The Greek dramatist
Euripides wrote these
words 400 years before the
birth of Christ. Grief is the
price of love. When we love
someone and they die, we feel
the pain of grief. However,
there are steps we can take
that may ease the stress and
hasten our recovery.
Here are some tips that
can help the bereaved on their
journey through grief:
• Go back to work. If you
had a job, return as soon as
possible. Work is a healthy distraction
from the pain of loss.
If you were not in the workplace,
fi nd a job.
• Stay fi t. Exercise can help
you both physically and emotionally
because activity provides
an outlet for stress.
• Enroll in a class. Not only
does taking a class provide
you with a healthy diversion
from grief but it also can supply
practical knowledge for
improving the quality of your
life.
• Be good to yourself. Do
not hesitate to treat yourself to
something you truly enjoy.
• Take some time to write
down a list of things that bring
you pleasure such as displaying
a vase of fresh fl owers,
gardening, leisurely reading
a newspaper, etc. Then, try to
engage in at least one of these
activities daily.
• Volunteer your time. Another
effective way to get out
of the house and provide some
grief relief is through volunteering.
Local community
groups or museums and historic
sites always welcome
people who can spare some
time to support their activities.
• Talk about your grief with
a friend. Expressing and exploring
your feelings with a
trusted friend is one of the best
things you can do for yourself.
Talking helps relieve the pressure,
brings you perspective,
and keeps you in touch with
others. Cry when you feel like
it.
• Read practical articles
and books about grief. Reading
about bereavement is an
excellent way to fi nd your
way through this diffi cult, uncharted
experience.
Guide your thinking.
According to Laurence G.
Boldt, author of Zen Soup:
“’Thoughts,’ as Emerson put
it, ‘rule the world’ for the simple
reason that thoughts determine
feelings and actions. We
can think ourselves into happiness
or a deep depression.
We can think ourselves into
health or illness. If we only
take care of our thoughts, our
feelings and actions will take
care of themselves.”
• Cultivate hope on a daily
basis. When the days seem too
long, the nights endless and
hope a distant memory, rinse
your mind and fortify your
spirit by refl ecting on words
of hope. Though your journey
through grief may seem
dark, the light of recovery will
break through.
Most survivors will fi nd
solace in these suggestions.
But if you feel that your grief
is overwhelming your life, ask
your family funeral director
for the name of a local bereavement
counselor who can guide
you through resolving your
feelings of sadness and loss.
Material in this column was
excerpted (with permission)
from an article authored by Victor
M. Parachin, a National Funeral
Directors Association grief
educator and minister.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral Directors
Association